


Fading Memories

by Setfiretotherainbow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bad Parenting, Death, Have Fun!, Major character death - Freeform, Memory Loss, Other, Platonic Relationships, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, could be romantic but only if you really want it to be, no beta we die like daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Setfiretotherainbow/pseuds/Setfiretotherainbow
Summary: You see, the thing was, Suguru had gotten used to it. So used to it that he began to associate them with their words, not quite recognizing them, but not seeing them as complete strangers.His mother was associated with her mean word disguised as advice, and her sharp nails that dug into his skin when he did something she didn't like. His father became associated  with harsh hits and insincere apologies.They argued a lot, Suguru’s parents. About whose fault it was that their child was so simple. But he wasn't not really. He just didn't talk at the house, he didn't exist at the house, he was just a shadow moving through the often empty house that never quite felt like a home. Really Suguru just made himself a shadow whenever he was around his parents or extended family, or their coworkers. He was often a shadow.
Relationships: Daishou Suguru & Yamaka Mika
Kudos: 7





	Fading Memories

A Memory that Faded too quickly to Exist- Part I

You see, the thing was, Suguru had gotten used to it. So used to it that he began to associate them with their words, not quite recognizing them, but not seeing them as complete strangers. 

His mother was associated with her mean word disguised as advice, and her sharp nails that dug into his skin when he did something she didn't like. His father became associated with harsh hits and insincere apologies. 

They argued a lot, Suguru’s parents. About whose fault it was that their child was so simple. But he wasn't not really. He just didn't talk at the house, he didn't exist at the house, he was just a shadow moving through the often empty house that never quite felt like a home. Really Suguru just made himself a shadow whenever he was around his parents or extended family, or their coworkers. He was often a shadow. 

He had not alway been like that, he thinks. He doesn't really know, bad memory isn't a new thing, nor is forgetting names and faces, but it was becoming a problem. He didn't really remember his teammates' names or their faces, or his friends, if he had friends, he thinks his only friends are his teammates, but that would be sad, he thinks. It was quite distressing for Suguru, volleyball had been the one thing that he could remember, the one thing that he didn't float through. It was fun, a little splash of colour on a blank canvas. Because really thats what Suguru was, a blank canvas. He did what his parents told him to because he didn't know how to do anything different. He did the same thing every day and he was content. He thought. 

But now, now his colour is missing, his little splash of emotion in an otherwise worthless life is going away. He wants to say something, but his parents wont believe him, they never do. It’ll be like the time he cried saying that he couldn't live without his pet snakes. He had been 8 and the next day his snakes were gone and his mother had new snakeskin shoes. It was the last time he remembered crying, the only thing that he remembers vividly, and even that it starting to fade, disappeared as though it never happened. He wants to ask his teammates for help, but. . . but he can’t because they’ll be just like his parents, or his grade school friends, or the people that he hung out with in Middle School, no one ever believes him, so what's the point? 

It's been three weeks and he barely remembers his own name, he- he thinks he’s scared, but he’s never felt this way before, didn't know that he could, had he really been numb for so long? And, he.. . he was afraid, afraid of being afraid, afraid of losing the one thing he loves, the one thing that makes him worthwhile. If he loses his name, he wont be anybody.

More weeks pass, they lose to Nekoma, he forgot where he was in the middle of the game. He didn't cry though, he couldn't remember any vivid details of the game by the time he got on the bus. When he got home he read the note on the fridge, his parents were on a business trip to Italy for the month, he was all alone. During those weeks he thinks, he thinks hard. He tries to remember, but. The harder he tries to remember the harder it is to remember. By the third week of the month, he no longer knows his name, or his parent face. Someone had called him but he didnt recognize the name so he didn't answer. A girl ‘Mika’ accordion to her name in his contact had texted him a lot. He didn't know who she was. 

Byt Wednesday of the fourth week of the month he gives up on trying to remember.

On the last day of the month Suguru’s parents come home.

Two weeks later they bury a son they never knew. 

Starvation and dehydration, he had forgotten to eat and drink. If that hadn't taken him though, the tumor would have.

Mika sobs when she finds out, Numai does not react until two days after the funeral. The rest of Nohebi is in shock. Kuroo testuro mourns the one person who had been able to keep up with him. 

The world keeps spinning, and Suguru no longer has a need to remember his own name.

A Memory that will live on- Part II

Mika had always known that something wasn't quite right with daishou. He never really remembered anything, nothing really stuck with him. And he never talked about his parents or home. But this… this was so so much worse than what she thought.

She had thought that his phone was off, that made sense that's why he isn't answering. But, he kept not answering, and he kept not answering, and Mika knew that his parents weren’t home yet, she knew that they’d be home later that night. She remembered. Vividly, in walking into his house, to check up on him, Numai had asked her to and she had been about to do it herself anyway. So she did. And the house was silent. It was like no one lived there.  
It was honestly unsettling. She remembered walking through the silent house, walking quietly though she didn't have to, and opening the door to his room.  
God, she had thought that he’d been sleeping. She just walked in then left. There was no point to stay and she wanted to let him sleep. 

Finding out two weeks later that she had seen her dead friend, she didn't react, not immediately, she went through three days, she stayed sting three days, then she went over to talk to Daishous’ Parents, see how they were doing. They were already planning another trip, “Good riddance” Mrs. Daishou had said, “Less for us to worry about” Mr. Daishou had said/. And oh. Oh. This is why Suguru never called his house his home. That night she went to her room and she screamed into her pillow. Until her throat was raw, until she could barely feel it. Then she let herself cry, then she let herself feel everything. And it was so overwhelming.  
And she promised, she swore that night, that no one would vere forget Suguru, and that no one would ever be allowed to forget themselves. She wouldn't let this happen again. She couldn't. Not again. She wouldn't survive it. 

And so she talked to the school counselor, she changed her plan, applied to a University in America, to study Psychology and Counseling. She got her PhD and she never looked back. She stormed through her life, making sure that no one would ever forget themselves, she tried her damn hardest to make sure that no one would ever become numb to life. And she did it. She did it the best she could. 

But the good die young. And Mika Yamaka PhD aged 42 was killed in a plane crash on her way back to Japan to watch the Japan vs. Argentina Olympic match. She never got to experience volleyball history, but she left behind a legacy, and no one would ever forget the names Mika Yamaka or Suguru Daishou.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope ya'll had a good time I sure did.  
> not beta read  
> this is my first time ever posing a fic and my first time working with Daishou and Mika as characters but I really wanted to play around with the idea of trauma related memory problems and I'm on a bit of a Daishou brainrot so yea  
> I may never post again idk it depends on how I'm feeling but yee
> 
> ~MiRo


End file.
